Touch not, lest ye be judged

I watched this programme on telly last night that was so fascinating I couldn't even talk to my friend on the phone for fear of missing even one minute of the train wreck that was unfolding in front of me. When I say fascinating, that is code for FREAK SHOW AMERICAN RELIGIOUS MOVEMENT WHICH BRITS DID DOCUMENTARY ON. Just so that we're clear. Very well then, it was called The Virgin Daughters and profiled these people in BFE America who request that their children (daughters and sons) not so much as hold hands with someone of the opposite sex before marriage. Alright, I am not some big ho bag, but are you having a laugh? The movement was started by fathers (well one in particular, but we'll get to him later) who wanted their daughters to feel as special and treasured as possible. Fair enough, we all want to feel that way. Obviously this dude was taking it to an extreme. So said leader of strange underworld cult is interviewed throughout the programme, as is his entire family. 7 children from ages 20-3 and a weepy wife who endured 5 miscarriages as well. I guess I would be a sobbing mess if I had been knocked up 13 times too. These people believe that any relationship you have before you are married is cheating on your future spouse. I suppose they also believe there is ONE person for everyone. Right. Anyway, they also said that any emotional trials one deals with in their adult relationships are a direct result of having held hands with someone before you signed a piece of paper saying you would give them half of your assets if ever you decided to part ways. It was honestly so ghastly that I couldn't look away. And then I felt guilty for watching it as all it did was reinforce the stereotypes that all of us Yanks are barking mad. Well I guess we sort of are, but not as insane as those people. They didn't discuss masturbation, but I wonder if that counts as cheating on yourself?
Lesson learned, I don't watch TV for a reason. You can now return to your regularly scheduled day.