I once dated a man who stole my heart (and coincidentally my eyeliner and hairspray when we split) at our first kiss. Even today I remember sitting at that Japaneses table, cross legged and fidgeting with my skirt. After hours of flirting and even more dancing at our friends birthday party, he leaned in, cupped my cheek in his hand and gently kissed me on the lips. He was never good for me and I was never good for him. We brought out the very best and the very worst in one another. He's since married and its been more years then I can count, but I still recall the intensity with which we loved. My stomach turns when I think of the lessons we learnt at one anther's expense. I then moved on to my second big love who got the new and improved version of GirlFriday GF 2.0. We were best friends and as it turned out, little more. But nevertheless, we had a really great time together. We brought out the best in each other (most of the time) and parted ways kindly when we started to bring out the worst.It's an interesting thing, past love, no matter how good or bad it was, time screws with our perception of it. When we are longing for that lost love, we often forget all together the bad bits. But in contrast some backwards glances yield only views of scorn and hurt. Regardless of what happened, it was good at one time, but it's in the past for a reason.
In talking with Cricket Boy about a business deal gone bad with past love #2, he questioned why I was still such good friends with him. Relationships are a funny thing, they really only make sense to the 2 people who are part of an unspoken alliance. Great loves are few and far between and when possible you want to preserve any good remnants of that piece of your past.
But moving on is the only thing that allows you to find your next great love. For me, I will always remember that kiss over the Japanese table, even if he was a make up stealer he was also my favourite mistake.
3 comments:
Don't think about past relationships. They ended for a reason. Instead, do what I do and focus on future relationships, of laughing, dancing, frolicking, and whizzing around in a giant fairground teacup. But don't imagine them through the prism of the future, looking back on what will inevitably become yet another failed relationship, as that'll fuck with your head.
Fweng: Exactly what future relationships are you focusing on? Let's be honest, the last time you had sex the world liked America.
Hm. I'm rarely that philosophical about past relationships. I'm more of a burn out girl, rather than fade away. :)
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