Reap what we sow?

I love London, truly I do. In fact I get highly annoyed with people who continue to live here and complain about it non stop. That said, this has been the most unimpressive 24 hour London experience I have had in ages. Sequence of events went something like this:

When I got home from work at 9 last night, something seemed amiss with Girl Friday's Bod. Sussing exactly what it was in a matter of minutes, I racked my brain to figure out if there was a 24 hour chemist anywhere that I knew of. No, course not. I mean how American of me to even ask myself this question. I proceeded to perform home remedy (will spare you the particulars) in an attempt to ward off imminent illness.
Woke up at 4:00am, body in full rebellion of non medical treatment. That was me, off to the A&E. Check in, no problem. Wait in waiting room with bums who clearly would have frozen to death sleeping outside, so logical best alternative is A&E. No bother. 30 minutes later (have I mentioned it was ONLY me and the bums in the waiting area?) a nurse called me in for in take. Just gone 5am now and GF's self diagnosed condition has gotten a bit worse, not unbearable but worse. After in take am put in another holding area where any and every sound emanating from beds in A&E is audible. Use your imagination, but suffice to say it wasn't pleasant. On that note I request to use the ladies. I am directed to the most vile and filthy loo I have seen outside of holes in the ground in some countries I have travelled to. Wee was everywhere and the sink didn't work but did have the lovely addition of blood splattered in the basin. Super. I take my seat again after seeking out an alternative sink to wash my hands in. Nurse approaches me again and says she needs another blood sample as she forgot to test my other one for ALL the required things. Me=puzzled look and brief to nurse in state of affairs in loo. "Ahh, shame" she says and then hands me another blood vile which I am meant to fill. Sweet. It's now nearing 6am. For maths challenged people I have been in the A&E for almost 2 hours now. Without over sharing, trust me when I tell you that what was wrong with me DID NOT require more then 10 minutes of a skilled professionals time. Dr. calls me and I hand him new blood vile explaining the need for a second sample. "Oh, you didn't need to do that, the test she mentioned isn't necessary, we know you have exactly what you think you do" Again, SWEET! 5 minutes later, that's me gone home to shower and be on my way to work with drugs and questionable advice from the Physician already ticked off this morning.
I get to Paddington early to hit Boots (again, I grew up in California and think that herbs and natural things cure ailments better then drugs, although I am taking the drugs as well) for some naturopath additions to my repertoire as well as some water. Again, the Cali girl in me pretty much thinks water can wash away a myriad of sins. Procure sought after potions and see a ladder forming in my tights. Rats. La Senza (sexy lingerie, but also practical stockings) it is. Sales girl would clearly rather be anywhere but here and lets me know that I am the bain of her existence. Scurry on to train and decide not to grab a seat as massive intake of water is already neccesitating loo trip. Train departs late (of course) and oh joy of joys, loo is out of order. Uh huh, ok...doing a dance and hoping the traffic from train station to office is not so bad. WRONG! I am sat in traffic just about to bust and happen to be keeping the company of a hot Argentinian man who likely wondered why I was sitting that way and fidgeting so much.
There is no moral to this story no knowledge to be gleaned by others. Perhaps the lesson learned is, don't get too comfortable in anything, if you do you may be punished.

Full Circle

London-Dubai-Frankfurt-Stockholm-London. Grey and cold to desert and sheiks. Design and style vs bling and exageration. Bier, Vodka, Shisha and £5 pints. It's not as glamorous as it sounds, not by far, trust me. I left a not empty bed on Sunday morning and for the first time in a long time, I really would have rather stayed.

One of the things I always try to notice when I travel is subtle cultural differences. Some are less subtle then others, in the Middle East people are rarely on time for meetings and think nothing of starting an hour behind schedule. Where as in Scandanavia everything is dependent on precision and efficiency. Often these observations lead me to look at the different cultural habits I have adopted as well. A Cali girl at heart, with a generous dose of Pacific Northwest thrown in and large quantities of British and European influences to round out. When I was growing up being different was a good thing to me and as I moved and travelled I became more eager to blend and not stick out. I think as travel has also taught me, most things end where they began. In some ways I have come full circle in my desire to be different. When I first moved to London the worst name anyone could call me was American (shock,horror)! Nothing has changed politically and in fact its gotten worse from a global point on view, but I now am proud of who I am. One of the people I work with who was in Sweden as well teased me frequently about being SO West Coast and another who was with me in Dubai insisted I was the epitome of a California girl. 4 years ago I would defended myself, this week I beamed and said to both, "Don't I know it!"

Breakfast will never be the same

I am still not sure that I should be shouting this from the roof tops as it's such early days that the bottom could fall out at any minute, but alas I don't want to hold you in suspense for any longer. I changed my mind and decided that I didn't want cereal for breakfast at all anymore. No Fruit Loops, no Captain Crunch no Cocoa Puffs. Cereal is overrated anyway. Now the prizes were just taking up space and the sugar was making me stomach sick. I forgot that I had eggs, toast and a smoothie. Well the truth is, I thought they had reached their expiry date last summer. In reality they were just hiding and last weekend they found me and convinced me to take a chance and have a full breakfast rather then a sugary treat.
Eggs, Toast and Smoothie could also be interpreted as Cricket Boy. Turns out he was ready for a new chapter and also seemed to be ready to skip any awkward "getting reacquainted" malarkey. The best part about this is that he came to me, he realised he was a fool and he convinced me to give him another shot. Admit it! We have all wished at one time or another that someone we really wanted would come to their senses and want us too. Anyone who knows me understands that this particular situation is the stuff books are written about and classic romance movies are built on. The only other time I can say this has happened the person in his shoes had done horrible things that I never should have forgiven. CB just freaked out, told me he was freaking out and decided to take time to figure out what he really wanted. Turns out what he really wanted, was me.
Cue music and chirping birds.

Septic

Thanks to all the idiots in the world, every once in awhile I have great material for my blog. On this fine Thursday, I bring you the top 10 things NOT to do when someone takes the time to tell you in person that they don't want to date you any longer. Let's all keep in mind that not returning calls and ignoring emails is still a popular method of telling someone to bugger off, even when we are grown ups. No one owes you anything and the fact that they are a big enough person to tell you in person should count for something.

10. It's not advisable to start criticising their appearance. Are you bloated or have you just gained weight isn't an acceptable question.
9. Telling the person that it wouldn't have worked anyway and proceeding to list why. Goes over like a lead balloon.
8. Are you mental? I don't really know what to add here, pretty much speaks for itself.
7. Verbally listing all the times YOU paid for something and claiming they owe you for those things. At least this one inspires a good laugh.
6.Asking if you have been waiting to tell them this ALL NIGHT. I think 20 minutes into the evening is a perfectly acceptable amount of time to work up the nerve. Especially given the reaction.
5. Asking if THIS is why you never had sex with them.
4. Telling them good luck EVER finding anyone who will put up with their shit. And by shit I think this septic bloke meant "busy schedule"
3. Claiming that even though you don't care, there's a good chance you will go home, drink yourself into a stupor and never wake up again. Yeah, cos suicide is hillarious to joke about.
2. Accusing them of not giving you a fair shot. I list this as 2 because you will notice that 9 and 4 came before this gem.
1. Ask if they can set you up with any of their single friends.

Barforama

OK, I am making myself want to vomit. Birds are singing, the sun is shining, life is just a bowl of cherries. This morning I caught myself (GASP) letting people in front of me on the train, ignoring the smelly rude guy next to me on the tube and literally grinning at the bloke that pushed me out of the way to get through the ticket barrier. Plus, the worst part? I have 80's hair today and I'm not bothered.
I'm still not ready to lift the kimono , but be assured that as soon as I get over the shock of recent developments I will tell all.

0 to 60

In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in awhile you could miss it."
I've stopped. Or maybe I've accelerated. At the very least I've gone out of bounds. You know what? Off course is fun.

the week that wouldn't end

I honestly think this has to be the longest week of the year. Surely, someone somewhere in some almanac or official record has noted this. A prize to the first reader who validates this with a credible data point.

In other news, Friday's seem to have become the corporate sponsored "do sod all" day of the working week. Even the lovely canteen here in nether regions of England somewhere vaguley close to London but nowhere near any other food establishments has decided that Friday doesn't count. No fruit this morning, no yogurt bar, no smoothies. It's like a 3rd world country I tell you.*

And another thing, can you explain to me this whole friend request on Facebook thing? I actually said to someone a few months ago, " I am sorry X (read 20 year old boy who lives in Surrey with mum and day) I am not going to accept your friendship request because you are not my friend, in fact I don't know you." How is someone who WANTS to be friends with you in the same category on Facebook as the person who saw you vomit on yourself in front of the bloke you fancied after you kissed your best friends boyfriend with your fly down, back in Uni? Can someone explain this to me?

Can someone also expain who benefits from toasters with slots that are too narrow? Who only uses the toaster for bread the thickness of 10p? And why do all the umbrellas they sell in the places where you would need an umbrella most (shops in Paddington for example) cost £15 and fall apart within a week?

Alright, those are all the questions I can come up with in the 30 minutes of the day in which I have decided to do nothing.

Have a super weekend and wish me inspiration for more interesting posts soon which are not so offensive.

*Although I know that term is wrong on so many levels, there's nothing really as impactful in my vocabulary today.

rebellious

When I was a child there was an understood rule that you weren't allowed to start one thing before you finished another. Ok maybe it was actually spoken. You know how you couldn't open the Fruit Loops (yes, for me it was granola and grape nuts, but you get the point) before the box of Coco Puffs were through or start on one hobby whilst still enraptured by another? I learned over Christmas that not all families were like this, but based on the discussions we had, I think the ones that weren't are the exception.
If I had a dime (well let's make it fifty pence since an American dime is about as useless as a vicker in a brothel at the moment) for every time when I was home that I got the "So, anyone special yet?" speech, followed by the expectant gaze...well let's just say I'd be somewhere sunnier and warmer right now. But the truth is, I'm not sure I want 1 special person yet. I think I want Captain Crunch, Fruity Pebbles and Graham Cracker Crunch. I'm not ready to finish one box before I start another. I want to figure out which cereal I like better before I commit to one cereal for the rest of the week!!! Is that SOOO wrong? ADD? Perhaps, but I reckon it's latent rebellion. Either that or Peter Pan syndrome. Maybe I just want to get the prize out of each and never actually eat the cereal at all!

back to life, back to reality

As much as I hate to see it end, my 2 weeks of food, wine, friends and family has slowly come to an end. Back in the oh so familiar BA Lounge (honestly, it's the one place that is ignorant to country, culture or time) I look out and watch the last lovely Western sunset of my trip. As evidenced by my last post, this has been a trip of self discovery. Cathartic in ways, challenging many things I held as truths when I left London, this holiday escape from real life has served as a reminder of who I am and what I hold dear. But alas playtime must end and I must slip seamlessly back into the hustle and bustle on life in London. Still I can continue to daydream Californication style.