Stopping to Breath

But only for a second. I was looking at one of those scales online that rates the most stressful life events people can encounter in rank order and I think I have ticked at least 3 boxes in the last 6 months. Thank god I am not married so I don't have to worry about getting divorced.
In any case, I had a brief respite from travel this week and am off again to Germany Monday, with a side trip to Derby this weekend. Derby you ask? Why would anyone in their right mind go to Derby? Well, CB planned a little outting for us to see the Soweto Gospel Choir and with my insane schedule, Derby was the closest city we could fit in. If you have never heard them, they are amazing. Listen before you judge me for treking up to Derby on my one free Saturday this century.
In other news, I made the leap to leave West London and signed a lease in St Johns Wood last night. I am thrilled to explore North London and comforted to still have a W in my postcode. I remember now why I move as infrequently as possible here, it's a bloody nightmare. Couple that with a very busy time at work, loads of travel and other things that have sucked the life out of me and that's me dead inside and outside for that matter. Good I still have chirpy birds and rosey glasses or I might be on the fast train to looney ville!

Sunset, Sunrise

I have already covered my inability to sleep on planes, as a matter of fact it was my last visit here that drove this truth home. Being all "birds chirping, sun shining, life is just a bowl of cherries" as I am at the moment, I saw the upside on last nights 12 hour flight of not being able to doze. I got to see sunset over the English channel as we began our ascent and sunrise over the magnificent African desert as we concluded our descent. Something about Africa feels like home. I can't explain it, but two of my mates who have lived here knew exactly what I meant when I said this last year. It's not familiarty, or sight or smell or foliage or people. I really can't put my finger on it, but it's like when you make a new friend and you know they are meant to be in your life for a long time to come. There's nothing tangible to point to, it's just a feeling.

You know it's bad when

-4 of your last 5 posts are about or involve the boy
-other, very attractive men stop seeming so attractive
-when you're hanging out with someone you should be excited about talking to (Oh I don't know, just as an example, Jamie Cullum) you are actually thinking that boy would like to meet said person as boy and said person share many interests
-boy is missed ( a lot) after not being seen for a week*
-tonight you could be hanging out with very fun cool group including musical star (no more name dropping in one blog post) but in your head you think a good nights sleep and a bath would be better so that you are all fresh and cute when you finally see boy again tomorrow
-a gift was purchased in Spain just because the boy was thought of when it was spotted
-hearing boys voice on other end of phone after very very long and exhausting week was enough to make you nearly burst into tears in airport lounge**

If anyone knows of remedy for what is clearly a life threatening condition we have here, please do let me know. I fear I may quickly turn into....I can't even say it....one of them...





*ok, if I am honest he was missed after 24 hours, but I couldn't really admit that until a week had passed
**to be fair I do tend to cry when I am over tired. I don't cry often from emotion, but if I get really really run down anything can set me off (CR, I know you feel my pain)

head and shoulders

I spent the evening with Jamie Cullum and the CEO of my company last night. Not one for name dropping typically, but I have to say the evening was so bizarre (in a good way) that the players have to be mentioned. I should also point out that my company is in a massive time of growth and success so the CEO is a business name in many households.
In PR you frequently end up with the important people in an effort to repell or attract press. It's an occupational hazard or benefit depending on the people involved. I have often been told I have a good head on my shoulders. Although I've never really understood what this means. I do what needs to be done and I don't take myself or others too seriously. Life is too short to worry about the little stuff and pass up a party at Pacha making sure the CEO is enjoying Spain. If that makes my head different then others, well so be it!

slowly slowly

So I think I'm finally coming round to the idea of CB being a full time fixture in my not so static London life.
I am at a massive mobile conference at the moment in sunny Spain. I've always worked in a male dominated industry and am accustomed to literally being stepped on given my height. This week as I have darted from one meeting to another barely looking up from my mobile device, I realised how blinkered we can be when we fail to take note of our surroundings.
Inventory commencing in personal life means more space for boy and less time travelling and working. Well ok, not to get ahead of ones self. Will ease into CB becoming my BF and then see about the rest.

me me me

I like to think myself a generous person. I always offer my girlfriends a bit of hand lotion or lippy if I'm pulling it out, I always try NOT to step on the bloke sleeping in the underground tunnel, and I even offered to let my cleaning lady have an apple if she got hungry last spring when she cleaned my flat for 6 hours straight (no one should eat at Texa Fried Chicken). You can then imagine my surprise when faced this weekend with a most unusual situation, putting someone elses needs on par with mine. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm fine with thinking of someone else on the odd day, but not all the time. I mean, that's a lot to ask, right?
So this weekend I mention in passing to CB that I am basically gone from this weekend until the second week in March. He gets out his diary (for the Americans that means agenda/day planner thingy) and starts some sort of Q&A session on when I will be in London. Completely taken aback and immediately assume there is some type of stalker behaviour here that I failed to detect previously. I must have broken out into a sweat whilst visions of midnight phone calls and unexpected visits haunted me. GF? Hello? Are you in London (points to day on calendar) this day? If you are I have a dinner party I would like you to come to with me. Erm, well, yeah ehm, sure yeah. Let's talk about that closer to the time. CB=perplexed look
Me= self involved twat not accustomed to thinking of anyone else